Realgeorge
Mentor
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2004
- Messages
- 675
Although the Baltimore Orioles perennially stink, and there's no hope for that cursed franchise, one of its many ugly traits is illustrative for CasteFootball purposes. It's the myth of the "Five-tooled" Black afflete.
The Orioles have such a Five-tool, an arrogant Negro named Felix Pie. We've encountered Pie (pronounced pee-ay) before, as the wiser Cubs franchise ejected his miserable arse from the team, sending him to the hapless, loser Orioles. But Mr. Pee-ay arrived to massive fanfare. Peey-ay was, you see, a Five-tool afflete! Particularly gushing about the new baseball God was announcer Rick Dempsey, who always waxes eloquent about arrogant Black ballplayers.
I suppose the five tools would be speed, power, fielding skill, and (4) and (5) [you can help me out here with these mysterious traits]. But what Orioles fans received was something much different. Pee-yay showed up with a consistent attitude of constant arrogance and surliness, and as usual, complained of being "misunderstood." Even other Black players, Adam Jones for one, complained of Pee-yay's behaviors, going so far as to say, "I'm not sure just what his problem is."
So over three season Pee-yay has treated fans to his five tools alright. Pie's hitting is poor, his current average below .220. Fast? He gets caught stealing 80% percent of attempts. Fielding? He misplays ever other ball to left field. Baserunning errors! Gets picked off regularly, and ignores coach signs. Throws to the wrong base and misses the cutoff man. Even in the jaded MLB, Pie is not coveted by many franchises.
Nevertheless, he gets great playing time ahead of a superior White outfielder, Nolan Reimold. At the beginning of the season, Orioles management (Showalter and MacFail) and the Baltimore sports media, pronounced that Remold had decisively outplayed Pee-yay in the preseason. Yet Reimold was sent to the minors to start the season, while Pee-yay made the club.
The months have gone by, and Reimold has regained his job. Pee-yay has had a stink year, and mostly rides the bench. Pee-yay sulks and complains, but the Orioles can't move him, or won't. Fans are tired of the guy, yet another of many, many Orioles busts.
But by God, Pie has Five Tools!
The Orioles have such a Five-tool, an arrogant Negro named Felix Pie. We've encountered Pie (pronounced pee-ay) before, as the wiser Cubs franchise ejected his miserable arse from the team, sending him to the hapless, loser Orioles. But Mr. Pee-ay arrived to massive fanfare. Peey-ay was, you see, a Five-tool afflete! Particularly gushing about the new baseball God was announcer Rick Dempsey, who always waxes eloquent about arrogant Black ballplayers.
I suppose the five tools would be speed, power, fielding skill, and (4) and (5) [you can help me out here with these mysterious traits]. But what Orioles fans received was something much different. Pee-yay showed up with a consistent attitude of constant arrogance and surliness, and as usual, complained of being "misunderstood." Even other Black players, Adam Jones for one, complained of Pee-yay's behaviors, going so far as to say, "I'm not sure just what his problem is."
So over three season Pee-yay has treated fans to his five tools alright. Pie's hitting is poor, his current average below .220. Fast? He gets caught stealing 80% percent of attempts. Fielding? He misplays ever other ball to left field. Baserunning errors! Gets picked off regularly, and ignores coach signs. Throws to the wrong base and misses the cutoff man. Even in the jaded MLB, Pie is not coveted by many franchises.
Nevertheless, he gets great playing time ahead of a superior White outfielder, Nolan Reimold. At the beginning of the season, Orioles management (Showalter and MacFail) and the Baltimore sports media, pronounced that Remold had decisively outplayed Pee-yay in the preseason. Yet Reimold was sent to the minors to start the season, while Pee-yay made the club.
The months have gone by, and Reimold has regained his job. Pee-yay has had a stink year, and mostly rides the bench. Pee-yay sulks and complains, but the Orioles can't move him, or won't. Fans are tired of the guy, yet another of many, many Orioles busts.
But by God, Pie has Five Tools!
